Old stories slowly getting obsolete…
Today I was running in the woods again. I stopped by at my favorite spot which is a small lake. Usually it is calm and quiet there – and I am the only person. Today there was an old man with his two dogs. The dogs were enjoying a bath in the lake. No quietness!
I felt a bit puzzled but… I stopped anyway. After greeting that man he immediately asked me if I had a dog following. Obviously he did not expect people without a dog running through the woods.
“No I don’t”, I said.
“Oh, then you’re just running? Moving is great” he said.
We stood a while at the lake. Calm. Watching his dogs. When I was about to leave he added “Keep up moving!”. He said it in a friendly, empathic way. Usually a part inside me quickly feels offended. Today I wasn’t at all. There was an open and humble older male human being with two dogs enjoying the calm lake in the woods.
… getting a plot twist
I had a similar encounter with another elderly man about two weeks ago which was quite similar. Some years ago I would have felt quite weird – today, I don’t. It’s gone. I made peace.
… getting obsolete
Having leveraged different personality development models during the last years and having worked with systemic therapy approaches almost 15 years ago, I know there was that particular part in me not liking a certain “type” of old men – somehow.
With “not liking” I mean: there was an instant, emotional & physical reaction of heavy avoidance. A reaction I was not able to fight against or even to categorize and to work with. Old stories getting in the way. For years.
“What’s her point?” you might ask.
What is the lesson?
A pile of time, a pinch of patience & a bag of compassion
Obsiously working on your personality (or should I say: your mental system) needs not just hard work. With a coach, eventually a therapist, and with your self.
Working on your personality needs a pile of time, a pinch of patience and a bag of compassion… so that new behaviour will have the chance to evolve. That you have the chance to nourish it, and to grow.
At least for me it did work this way. Only this way. And I am super grateful for that.
What about you?
Do you also experience those instant reactions which kick-in from time to time, be it in private life or in business?
How do you work with them?
And what is your lesson?